Day 9 – boundaries
Where do we start with boundaries? It’s a huge subject. The easiest way to look at this is in conjunction with your bill of rights. Your boundaries protect your bill of rights. A good gauge to know if you have overstepped someone else’s boundary is to look if you have affected their bill of rights.
Knowing you have the right to set a boundary is the key here, we cover it in our Finding Me workshop and changing patterns course in more depth.
We know when our boundary has been overstepped as it makes us feel awful, taken advantage of and worthless. Have a think about a boundary you need to set, then really focus on keeping it in place, this can be just as hard, as those who take advantage will push until they get their own way. So, start with a simple one.
Think of a simple boundary you can put in place and try to keep to it. Make consequences reasonable and fair.Even saying no is setting a boundary.
Step it up – optional extra
Are you quite good at boundary setting already? If someone asked you to do something you weren’t keen on, would you struggle to say no without making up an excuse? Recognise when you try to find an excuse. Try not to start every answer with ‘sorry but’ you have nothing to apologise for (unless you are stepping over their boundary of course).